


The Shinigami Women's Association are Evil Geniuses

by ARBryce



Category: Bleach
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Eventual Happy Ending, Except Aizen, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Nobody is Dead, Post-War, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Speed Dating, Top Hollow Ichigo, UraIchi Week
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:27:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24402034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARBryce/pseuds/ARBryce
Summary: The Shinigami women's association (Yachiru!) decides that it has been far too boring since the end of that super-fun-for-Kenpachi Aizen war and it is time for him and some of those super-boring-captains to start dating and making babies for Yachiru (ahem...the SWA) to play with -- and steal candy from.Retsu and Ise agree because “dating” might help the 11th keep from sending new recruits to the 4th.Rangiku signs on because it will distract her taicho from the paperwork.After that it’s only a matter of Momo and Nemu drawing up the rules of the game.Yoruichi might have let slip to Urahara that this game was in the works and that as a still relatively young captain he would probably have the most ladies signed up on his date-card. Well, the most after Ichigo that is. And Urahara does not have time to suffer (um...entertain) even one awkward date. Urahara knows how much Ichigo hates the spotlight and so offers Ichigo a way out of this ridiculous game.Rule #1: All men of fukutaichou and above not currently engaged to another will for the three months until the new year be required to have three dates a week.
Relationships: Kurosaki Ichigo/Urahara Kisuke
Comments: 27
Kudos: 194





	1. The Contract

Ichigo looks down at the sign up sheet for the newly created “Captains Competition”. 

At least that’s what the sign up sheet says at the top. The word “mandatory” under it and under that is the instruction “list three times a week you’ll be available to compete”, followed by the days of the week they are to sign up for battle. At least that’s what Ichigo thought he’d signed up for. 

“You didn’t read the fine print did you?” Kisuke has his arm over his chair to look back at Ichigo. Behind him is Yoruichi and her desk piled high with paperwork that is probably classified. She has on a cutting smile behind her clasped hands. 

“Neither did you, Kisuke,” says Yoruichi. 

“You mean to tell me,” Ichigo has the bridge of his nose pinched between two fingers and the sign-up sheet crumpled in his other hand, “the Sōtaichō made us all sign our names up on this shit. During a meeting. That the ‘friendly competition to raise the spirits amongst our ranks’ is really a scheme cooked up by the Shinigami Women’s Association to get us to date. And now our souls are legally bound to carry it out?”

“In Hachi’s defense,” Yoruichi says and then smiles with her teeth bared, “he didn’t know that’s what the kido Momo had him develop would be used for.”

“And he signed the contract too,” Kisuke shows Ichigo on a copy of the sign up sheet while he flips a fan out to cover his own expression. His hat is low over his eyes today. 

Must be hiding whatever true emotion his expression would reveal, Ichigo thinks, though the young man can’t figure out what it might be. Kisuke’s tone is light and teasing as it ever is. Not even his war with Aizen ending could bleed that annoying tone from him. 

“Mah Mah, Ichigo!” Kisuke taps the open fan against his chin. “I would have thought a virile man in his prime would jump at the opportunity to date so many eligible women at once. You like to do everything fast, finding love should be no different for you.”

Ichigo blushes and throws the balled up sign up sheet at Urahara’s head. 

“Ichigo!” Yoruichi cuts into the teasing with a reprimand. 

Ichigo takes his fingers off the hilt of the long black sword at his side. Reiatsu that he’s not known he’d been leaking in his embarrassment settles down. He sucks the soul energy back into the small oval of power that surrounds him when he has it tightly controlled. And there was the one big reason Ichigo had not let himself think about love or lust. 

“Can’t I get an exception from this game? I’ll suffocate any woman that tries to kiss me,” Ichigo tries to laugh it off. His hand in the back of his hair. It’s not nearly as embarrassing as having to ask Yoruichi to book a 2nd division training room for him when he needs alone time. 

Urahara’s hat is titled up to get a good look at Ichigo. Ichigo can’t tell if he’s being light-hearted enough to evade the mad scientist’ interest.

“Oh berry-chan”, Yoruichi’s smile is tight. Her hand holds her chin as she looks over the sign-up sheet and contract in front of her. She sighs, “well Kisuke, tell the boy your brilliant plan.”

Kisuke taps the fan to his chin. He looks Ichigo up and down with the seriousness that hints at a battle to come. Then Kisuke snaps the fan closed, stands with his foot on Yoruichi's desk, and holds out his arms. 

“If we’re dating each other then we can't be forced to date others!”

\----

The print for the rules is far too tiny to be read without squinting. The first hint that something was amiss should have been the light pink ink and the cherry blossom border that the rules came on. But, what captain had enough time to really read any of the paperwork they were signing? 

Rules of engagement - Captain's Competition

By signing your name on an open time slot you agree to be available during that time until the terms of this contract ends.

Rule #1: All men of fukutaichou and above, not currently engaged to another, will for the three months until the new year, be required to have three dates a week.

Rule #2: Two dates per week may be with a partner you’ve had a previous date with unless a formal engagement is announced. Those with a formal engagement must still participate in date nights. 

Rule #3: All dates must be at least two hours long in a public setting. No, training does not count as a date, Kenpachi.

Rule #4: You must have at least one date with every person who signs up on your list, unless you’ve become formally engaged to another.

Rule #5: You may choose one of three colors for your date sign up list which corresponds to the sex of possible partners. Purple for female partners only. Yellow for male partners only. Pink for either sex of partners. 

There will be a public hearing of grievances at Kuchiki manor tomorrow at sundown. After which the Kuchiki clan should be serving desserts and candy to guests, someone please tell Kuchiki-sama about this. 

The sign up list can be collected after this meeting and will need to be posted outside the 1st division. 

If you’ve signed your name up and you decide not to participate your reiryoku will be pulled from your body and stored in a gigai for Lieutenant Kurotsuchi to experiment on. Lieutenant Kurotsuchi will not be participating in the Captain’s Competition.


	2. Killing Intent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinigami Women's Association lays down the law

Byakuya stood in front of the step leading to Kuchiki manor. He’d barred every door into the manor with high level kido. The crowd that gathered in front of the steps could feel the electric heat emanating off of the golden bars. 

Byakuya was calm and poised as he addressed the leaders of the Gotei 13, “you have been misdirected and will need to find other accommodations for this foolishness.” 

Whispers came from the crowd and some of the more reluctant men turned to leave, Ichigo included. Yachiru popped up from behind a shrub around the corner of Kuchiki manor to wave the group into a door that seemed to be cut into the side of the manor with her sword. The hole looked a bit like a bunny if Ichigo squinted. 

Arms crossed, lips tight, and eyes closed, Byakuya kept silent as disent reigned around him. The captains, lieutenants, and assorted shinigami ignored Byakuya’s killing intent and followed the little pink bouncing ball of energy into what seemed to be a large formal room. Behind him Ichigo could make out servants yelling that they needed more sugar and the rush of feet as servants would try to collect supplies in time to properly host an army of shinigami when their domo had banned them from preparing for this event beforehand. 

Kisuke came up behind Ichigo and gently grasped him by the elbow to guide him into the flow of people. Ichigo blushed and tried to take his arm back.

“Now now my love,” Kisuke had his fan out and hat down low, “it won’t do to make them suspicious of us if you do decide to take my offer.” 

“My friend,” Ichigo whispered through a fake and painful smile, “we don’t even know if this bull will work yet. So, don’t hurt yourself for nothing.”

Ichigo took his arm back, but gently this time. Kisuke stayed close by his side and Ichigo could see the man shake out his hand and flex his fingers as he tried to distract by snapping his fan closed and giving Ichigo a smile. 

“Do you think there's anything goin’ on between those two taichou,” ’Ichigo could hear an unseated shinigami whisper to her friend. The girl must have been a fresh cadet from the rukongai to not have heard about the “Winter War Hero” with the long orange hair and a short temper or the “Returned Insane Traitor” with the fan and green and white bucket hat who was never to be trusted. Well, at least Kisuke had probably started a new rumor about the two of them with the way her friend quickly shushed the girl and pulled her deeper into the crowd.

Ichigo leaned against the wall near the bunny-like whole. Kisuke smiled at Ichigo and hopped up onto an ornate low cabinet to sit on. Kisuke leaned against the wall as well his shoulder close to Ichigo’s but outside the range of the young man’s closely held reiatsu. Well, at least if he accidentally leaned in too close it would only give the man an uncomfortable sting. Ichigo had burned Karin the one time he’d visited and his sister had tried to hug him in his spirit form. 

The crowd settled down. It seemed most of the male captains and lieutenants who would be affected by this contract had chosen to border the large room. Ukitake and Shunsui kept watch over the doorway leading into the main manor, left open for the servants to come through with trays of tea and cool water. Ichigo could almost see how their reiatsu hovered across the doorway to scan for ill intentions. Kiuske’s own reiatsu flowed around Ichigo’s body to cover their door. 

With Ichigo and Kisuke at the only other door into the room, they should be protected. Ichigo blinked as he realized how natural it was to fall into tactical thinking. Only one war under his belt, but Ichigo doubted he'd ever be able to shut off the hyper awareness of his surroundings. No wonder Shunsui drank so much. 

At the front of the room sat the four leaders of the Shinigami Women’s Association at a low table. Retsu and Nemu flanking Yachiru and Nanao. Yachiru picked up what might have been a dog’s squeaky toy hammer and hit it against the table. 

“Skwe, Skwe, Skwe,” Yachiru said in time with the toy, “I call this meeting to order!”

The first half of the meeting was a going over of the rules, wiched it seemed none of the men had really taken the time to look over. Renji in particular yelled the most at the dirty trick the women had played on them. Hisagi shouted to ask why the women of soul society couldn’t just ask them out without this stupid game. To which Yachiru said back sweetly “because all you meat brains have scary faces.” Which got most of the yelling to stop. 

Kenpachi smacked his fist on the wall and demanded that they have battles at some point over the next three months or he would probably kill half his division. Well, the second part went unsaid, but by Retsu’s frown and Nanao’s grimace it was still heard. Yachiru clapped her hands and said that they could turn a few of the days in the last month into “battle dates”. Nobody knew what that meant, but they left it to Rangiku to figure it out. 

“If there’s nothing else,” Nanao says, “the color coded sign up forms are on the cabinet near the door. No, not that one. The one Urahara-taicho is sitting on.” 

“It’s time Ichigo-chan,” Kisuke said behind his fan, “keep that grumpy look on your face while I talk.Yes, just like that!”

“Yachiru-chan!” Kisuke stayed seated on the hip high cabinet with his legs crossed. He raised his folded fan in the air and meekly waved it while covering his face with his other hand. 

“Kisu-kun!” Yachiru waves back at the man while stuffing something doughy and blue into her mouth. No servants had passed by with food yet.

“Thank you, Yachiru-chan,” Kisuke lowers his hand and flips the fan open over his mouth again, but everyone can hear him as the lower rank shinigami stop whispering amongst themselves. “And thank you to the Shinigami Women’s Association for thinking of such an interesting game for us all to play. 

“Mah mah, but it may put this older man into a sticky situation. What are those of us with new relationships to do? Especially if we might be dating someone young who is shy and might not want to make our emerging relationship public yet. Who might also be very jealous and hot tempered even if their older partner might not be as attractive a catch as he is.” 

Classic Kisuke word play, Ichigo thinks as he rolls his eyes and smiles slightly. Ichigo looks away from Kisuke’s performance and can see almost all the women in the front row of the SWA have turned to look at them with big watery eyes and hands clasped as if they’d just seen the cutest puppy. Only Retsu is demur and lightly laughing into her hand. Ukitake passes Shunsui some coins with a roll of his eyes. 

Ichigo blushes and ducks his head a little. He can hear the women up front swoon collectively. Then there are shouts too high pitched and crying over each other for Ichigo to make out any of the words clearly enough -- too many deafening explosions in his face to have perfect hearing anymore. 

“SWA leaders Huddle!” Yachiru yells over the noise. Retsu, Yachiru, Nanao, Nemu, Rangiku, and Momo group around the front table and whisper. Their short talk is finished with a collective “Hai!”

Retsu stands above them all as the others take their seats. Her eyes are still mostly closed. Her hands clasped in front of her braid. And a serene smile on her face. She says, “the Shinigami Women’s Association has decided on a special dispensation for Kisuke Urahara and his mystery younger partner. You both will only have to date one new person a week as you would a casual dinner between friends. But, you must have your dates in public if only for us to know who your mystery partner is and to insure that you are not cheating the game away in your labs.” 

Ichigo feels the killing intent in his sternum and chokes on an aborted breath. Nothing about Retsu’s exterior changes. Kisuke has his empty hand on his chest as his fan rises higher to hide his grimace. The young shinigami in the room lean over to ask their older counterparts what’s happening, but their mummers are quickly silenced. Shunsui passes Ukitake back his coins. Ukitake looks concerned, but Shunsui looks confused. 

The killing intent is released and the meeting is adjourned when Yachiru shouts “let's eat cake!” 

Ichigo breaths out and goes to pick up a purple form. Kisuke smacks his hand quickly with Benihime in her cane form. Ichigo looks up at Kisuke with a scowl, but is pushed out of the way of the other Gotei 13 men coming up to grab their own forms. Most reach for purple. 

Kisuke grabs at Ichigo’s obi and pulls him in close enough to bring his fan up to cover the space between Kisuke’s mouth and Ichigo’s ear. Ichigo shivers as the older man speaks. 

“It wouldn’t do for a young man who is supposedly in a relationship with another man to seek only female company. Otherwise your partner might be afraid that you were looking to escape your relationship with the older wiser man.”

Ichigo breaths out. He nods his head. As Ichigo steps back from the place he's settled between Kisuke’s crossed legs he notices that the older man also has a light blush on his cheek. Probably from the killing intent that was thrown at them, Ichigo thinks. Kisuke covers his own face again with the fan and hands Ichigo a pink sign up sheet that welcomes partners of either sex. In Kisuke’s hand is a yellow form, the one for only male partners. 

Rangiku Matsumoto bounces up to the two of them excited as a school girl. She says, “come on you two. I’ll help you get your schedules settled over some sake and so we can post it on the 1st division door.”

“Mah mah, Rangiku-san,” Kisuke lets the as he pushes Ichigo to his side with the legs that uncurl from sitting so that the woman can’t reach out to try and grab Ichigo’s hand. Kisuke scratches at his tingling lips with the edge of his fan. Ichigo smiles at him briefly in thanks. “I think you volunteered to do this just so you could be first to sign up on my Ichigo no kimi’s date card.”

“Pssh,” Rangiku leads them through the crowd, “and Ichigo is the jealous one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a note to let me know what you think. 
> 
> I especially want to know how D/S you want their relationship to be. I can go as light as flavoring their relationship with some power dynamics and a little bit of pain play. I could also go deep into the dynamic (which would make for some added drama since Ichigo is not in the know about that lifestyle at all).


	3. Fear the Reaper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not a dating game unless you put the meat on display at least once.

Ichigo stared at Byakuya’s feet, hard, so he didn't roll his eyes for the Captain Commander to see. This meeting could have been a memo delivered with his daily paperwork. Who cares that the number of Shinigami Academy applications has risen since the war? If there are enough skilled souls to enter the academy then what is the big deal? Kenpachi seems to have fallen asleep where he stands.

The captains of the Gotei 13 have changed dramatically since Ichigo’s first trip to Soul Society. Suì-Fēng had lowered herself down to lieutenant so that Yoruichi could come back as Captain in the 2nd. A far more bloody than gracious stepping down had occurred in the 12th so that Kisuke could return to his old post. Rose had come back to take over his old duties at the 3rd, as had Shinjin in the 5th, Kensei in the 9th. Lisa had come back to be co-lieutenant with Nanao in the 8th. Ichigo had taken over the 7th when his body had died, well atrophied might be the better term. Human bodies were never meant to hold so much reiryoku. Captain Komamura had graciously offered Ichigo his position and stepped down to lieutenant.

“Dismissed!” The Captain Commander pounded his cane on the marble floor. Ichigo blinked himself back to awareness.

Ichigo took a deep breath and gathered all his reiatsu close to him again. It had become a habit of his to let his reiryoku ‘breath’ a little when only captains were present at these meetings. None of the captains ever mentioned it. They could all imagine how tiring holding more reiatsu than Yamamoto could be for someone who had never learned the basics of control. In this room there was no one who might walk by and be hurt.

Kisuke came up behind Ichigo and held his arm out near the younger man's lower back just outside the edge of his reiatsu. Did the older man know that he could feel the older man’s hand as if it were pressing on his hip? No, probably not. Kisuke may be a self proclaimed pervert, but he never toed the line of Ichigo’s boundaries like Yoruichi and Rangiku liked to. Still, Ichigo let Kisuke keep him hand there as he led him out of the hall.

Kisuke leaned in close to Ichigo’s ear, “are you excited for our first date in public?”

“Hmph,” Ichigo was reconsidering if 100 dates with random women would have been worse then, whatever this was.

“I know it didn’t end up how we wanted,” Kisuke tipped his hat lower and brought the fan up to cover his face, “but just think of our time together as a chance to have one on one lessons again from someone who's much older and wiser in the ways of being a captain.” Kisuke must have read the furrow of Ichigo’s brows correctly, “Well, at least it will be an excuse to not tend to your paperwork.” 

They came out into the sunlight and the odd tableau that greeted Ichigo made him pause. Kisuke’s hand rested on the flesh just below Ichigo’s hip for a second before Urahara jerked it away and lowered it to his side as they both took time to watch the scene before them.

The captains were lined up on the top step. Well, the male captains. Rangiku was just below this lineup on the middle part of the stairs with a megaphone. Nanao held a cash box next to her. Beside them both was a large western style chalk board and Momo who was scribbling quickly with chalk covered hands. Rukia stood just under Momo holding a pile of chappy drawings whispering instructions to Momo.

Ichigo and Kisuke joined the end of the line of male captains to the shouts and swoons of the many female shinigami (and a few men) below. Rukia waved and winked at the two of them. Kisuke brought his hand back up to Ichigo’s hip. This time his hand touched the fabric of Ichigo’s kimono. Urahara pressed down against the resistance of Ichigo’s reiatsu to press the cloth against Ichigo’s skin. Ichigo could feel his cheeks heat just a little. It was the first lingering physical touch he’d had since unleashing Mugetsu. Ichigo glances to his left at Kisuke, but all he could see was the ex-shopkeeper smiling back at Rukia who only rolled her eyes at the both of them.

“That's the first and second choice sold!” Rangiku used the megaphone to talk to the crowd of shinigami who had gathered at the bottom of the steps.

Ichigo could see the shops and bars had fully opened their windows and doors. Some of them even brought their tables outside. Shinigami men and civilians took up every seat and surface to watch the show.

“Now on to the third choice!” Rangiku yelled, “Second choice went for 95,000 kan. Can we get 70,000 kan for the third choice?”

“Why isn’t Ichigo on the board?” yelled one of the women from the crowd. There was a chorus of ‘yeah’ and ‘why not’ that swept through the crowd. They were ready to mutiny. 

Ichigo felt his face heat even more under the collective scrutiny of the crowd and the other captains. All seemed to have realized that his name is not one of those on the board even though Kisuke is. Even if the man had far fewer slots open then the other male shinigami’s.

Rangiku paused for a moment and leaned over to let Nanao whisper in her ear. Ichigo could see nodding and the usually jubilant Rangiku frowning.

Back into the megaphone Rangiku says to the crowd “Ichigo cannot be offered to the masses because it’s not safe.”

Ichigo can see Shunsui and Ukitake nodding and a few of the other captains glance over at him. Kisuke rubs at the small of Ichigo’s back in a comforting gesture and then lets his hand fall. Ichigo looks down at it, but there doesn’t seem to be a burn or bruising like there was when Rukia, well, like some of the other times he’d been accidentally touched since coming to soul society. 

Even with two of the most senior shinigami seeming to support Rangiku’s statement, there is a muttering of disbelief in the crowd. It looks like this simple game will turn into a rebellion if the women of Soul Society could not get their hands on the reclusive war hero.

Yumichika steps forward from the crowd. As the flamboyant shinigami climbs up a few stairs he beacons for Ichigo to come down and meet him. When Yumichika rolls up his left sleeve, Ichigo realizes that he wants to offer the crowd a live demonstration.

“His spiritual pressure might hurt someone below a lieutenant class shinigami,” Rangiku says.

Ichigo glances down the line of male captains and gets a few nods of encouragement from Shinji and Shunsui. Ichigo steps down to meet Yumichika. The flamboyant man raises his pale bare arm to the crowd and lowers it towards Ichigo’s side. 

“Don’t me get so close it blisters,” Ichigo says and Yumichika nods. 

Ichigo reaches out his hand slowly. He can see his reiatsu, two inches out from his hand, as it first touches Yumichika’s forearm. The skin becomes even brighter white as if a nail is pressing into it. Then it starts to turn bluish as tiny blood vessels pop. Ichigo takes his hand away quickly.

Yumichika raises his arm and the crowd can see a dark handprint on his forearm. Two inches away from touching the third seat and the outline of the hand is red as if burnt by a hot pot of water. There are gasps from the crowd and a collective step back. 

It’s a good thing that Ichigo almost always wears a scowl. Those in the crowd don’t notice the added tension in Ichigo’s shoulders or the way his eyes are slightly downcast. Until now, Kamimaru and Ichigo’s other seated officers had been able to keep the darker edge of Ichigo’s powers hidden from the rest of the shinigami masses. 

It was one thing for common troops and civilians to hear stories of Ichigo’s defeat of Aizen, but another to have seen and felt the terrible power that was now at the command of a man who had been a human teenager only a year ago. Ichigo might not have wanted the attention his victory won him, but the fear was much worse. Almost like when Yuzu, no. That memory was still worse. 

Ichigo felt a hand at the back of his neck. Truly touching his neck, cradling it and a thumb brushing lightly against his ear. Urahara was there. His goofy shopkeeper smile on for the crowd. Urahara leaned in to whisper.

“Go on to the Captain’s bar,” Urahara said though his tone was much more subdued than his smile, “the rest of us will meet you there.”

Ichigo nodded and flashed away before the tittering of the crowd became recognizable words. The last thing he heard as he rounded a corner was Yoruichi’s voice over the mega phone, “Zaraki! You haven’t gotten any dates yet. Drop your trousers, now!”

A wave of laughter passed through the crowd behind him. Ichigo rolled his eyes at his ridiculous mentor. Ichigo’s lips quirked up again as exclamations and shouts of delight rumbled far behind him.


	4. The Lotus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick group bar scene before the big first date!

The sake bar that Ichigo came up to was not named the Captain’s Bar, but that’s what everyone in Seireitei called it. The Lotus was the only bar where you’d ever find more than one captain at a time. Academy students, new to Serenti, would imagine a grand regal establishment befitting the noble status of the highest ranked shinigami. They were wrong.

The Lotus was a quintessential dive bar, dark wood that crumbled off when brushed against from air too thick with violent reishi, a roof with cracked and missing shingles from drunken shunpo, and the latest set of broken chairs and tables decorating the dirt patio. Law enforcement in the living world would most likely condemn this establishment. Its awning looked as though it would fall if someone bumped against it. 

Truth was, the awning and the roof had a habit of collapsing on at least a yearly basis. An establishment could not liquor up battle thirsty individuals with strength to rival the gods without risking an explosion of reiatsu. But the owner kept rebuilding and letting more than three captains in at a time and charged an exorbitant surcharge for the service. So, the captains in turn made it their exclusive watering hole. 

On any given day you could find brave lower ranked shinigami lingering inside. Some hoped to learn secrets only the higher ranks knew. Some wanted to speak with captains without going through the proper channels. Some hoped to impress the captains with their ability to stay in a room with multiple captains for longer than an hour. Oddly, this reason had become an informal test to see if an unseated shinigami was ready to be promoted. 

What had surprised Ichigo, the first few times he’d come along to sit and drink with the other captains, was how many shinigami failed at being in an enclosed space with multiple captains at one time. The need to rush patrons to the 4th for vomiting, fainting, or seizures was a monthly occurrence. Because of this, The Lotus was the only bar in Seireitei whose waiters were a regular rotation of 10th - 6th seat officers from every division. They took coins fast from new customers and waited 15 minutes before serving to see if they should waste the sake on the fool. 

As Ichigo entered The Lotus two academy students jumped in their seats as they could feel his presence enter before they saw him. Otherwise, the bar was empty. Ichigo lifted his index finger and spun it in a circle to the owner behind the bar. An indication that a full table of captains were imminent. The owner winced and took three hell butterflies out from under the bar and whispered his message. As the black bugs flew off to call in the ranked shinigami who were on call the owner motioned for the students to give him more money or get out. Gima Masa, the owner, had an old scared face and had once been a 10th seat but even he would not be able to work the full night if there were going to be so many captains at once. 

Ichigo walked to the large booth in the far corner and sat himself down at the center of the booth so he could watch the entrance. His arms crossed over his chest and foot propped on the opposite knee, Ichigo scowled at the students that were whispering about him. They weren’t even trying to hide it as Ichigo could hear the name Aizen from their whispers. He could always pick out that name in whispers.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and looked away as Masa set down three bottles of sake and 12 glasses at Ichigo’s table. Ichigo practiced braiding his hair to avoid looking at the older man. Masa had picked up the annoying habit of caring about Ichigo and asking about how he was doing after Ichigo had gotten black out drunk in his bar the day his human body died. That had been the last time The Lotus had collapsed. A little over a year ago. The bar was due for a collapse soon, Ichigo mused.

His braid was terrible, again. Ichigo huffed and brushed his long hair out with his fingers. Since unleashing Mugetsu it seemed his hair didn’t want to stay short anymore. He’d not gotten used to the longer hair yet. And he didn’t have Yuzu around to guide him in how to care for it. 

“Ichigo-kun,” Masa said, his feminine voice always slightly musical, like Kisuke. Ichigo frowned at his thoughts. Masa finished arranging the glasses and pouring Ichigo his first cup. “Why is today a bad day?”

Ichigo glared at Masa. Behind the old man the two academy students wobbled out as sweat rolled down their faces. He looked back at Masa and blew some air between his lips.

“I’m fine, old man. Stop asking.”

“I’m in my prime! Barely 400,” Masa tweaked Ichigo’s cheek, “you’re just a baby is all.”

Ichigo rubbed his cheek and nodded. Masa frowned. The old man paused to give Ichigo a chance to yell at him for calling him a baby, but the usual fire and fierceness wasn’t there. It had been fading since the Winter War Victory Celebration. The second year anniversary would be on them in a few months and as it came closer the man barely out of his teen years had grown quieter. Ichigo had always scowled, but he’d at least had the passion to explode in anger at times. Masa would love for man to throw a glass at his head or to kick at his shins to make him go away. Masa pushed Ichigo’s drink closer to him and walked back to the bar.

Ichigo sipped at his drink and stretched out his senses to find how close the others were. It was odd, he both wanted them to get here faster and thought about running away to go back to his room in the 7th barracks. He would have to have a date tonight with Kisuke. 

There was still time to back out, but oddly spending two nights a week with the mad scientist was less daunting than 36 random first dates. Though, since lower ranks weren’t allowed to be on his date card, maybe he could have gotten away with no dates if he’d not listened to Kisuke. Listening to that man’s stupid ideas had become a bad habit of his. 

Ichigo huffed a small laugh into his sake, missing the way Masa quickly looked up from cleaning glasses in surprise and interest. Speaking of the devil, Ichigo could feel Kisuke’s reitsu approaching. Tuning in more he could pick out a few more of his friends from the mass of energy that was coming towards him. Ichigo leaned back and tried to look relaxed and not like he’d been sulking.

“And how’d ya know Kenpachi wusn’t wearing under things?” Shinji’s voice echoed from the doorway. 

“A man that big?” Yoruichi said with a laugh. She waved at Masa as she jumped from the door to the seat next to Ichigo. The floor under her feet had groaned with the force and Masa glared at the other captains in warning. Shunsui raised his hand in apology When he sat Shunsui used his flowing pink robe to hide how he elbowed the purple haired woman in the sternum, but they all saw it. Yoruichi fell over Ichigo’s lap and clutched her chest with one hand as she threw her arm overhead towards Shinji. “Oh, my tits, my beautiful chest balloons! Their perfection is ruined now!”

Ichigo glared at the ceiling as the ridiculous woman shoved her cleavage near his face. Kisuke grabbed a sake bottle, reached over Shinji, and shoved the opening of it into Yoruichi’s mouth. 

“Stop making my sweet little sunflower uncomfortable,” Kisuke sat back and took up his own glass as he pulled his hat lower over his eyes. Yoruichi flailed only a second before sitting back up and drinking the sake bottle half down. 

She smacked her lips “Sunflower, this sourface?”

“Whaddas that mean?” Shinji asked “Man that big?”

The table laughed, but no one answered as drinks were passed around. It was the usual hard drinking crew assembled: Shunsui, Ukitke, Shinji, Yoruichi, and Kisuke filled up the table. Ichigo was glad it wasn’t the whole lot of the captains and lieutenants. The teen had never done well in big groups, less so since his death. 

Ichigo drank down the whole of his cup, his face still blushing from having someone almost touch him. Almost intimately touch him. But no, the head of the assassins could curve her back well enough to make it seem as though she were comfortable to an outside observer. Yes, a few lower ranked shinigami had already come in to try their luck in the captains bar. 

“Did you all get sold out?” Ichigo asked the men at the table. Ukitake blushed and looked down at his drink. Shinji scowled at Ukitake. Ichigo could see just the edge of Kiskue’s eyes and they seemed to be staring at him. Yoruichi laughed into her cup, a blush already forming on her cheeks.

“Ukitake was the most profitable bachelor,” Shunsui put his arm over his friend’s shoulders and shook him a little for good measure. “His slots were sold before any of the rest of us were really considered.”

“Being a pushover ‘as it’s benefits,” Shinji groused.

“Mah mah,” Kisuke put his own arm around Shinji and held him a little harder than Shunsui held Ukitake “You’re just sour because your long face was sold out last.”

“Stupid! Only because you’d only twelve slots needed fillin’ and I’d 36,” Shinji shook off Kiskue’s arm “that’s like twice as much as I’d got.”

Kiskue patted Shinji on the head “You don’t fill out the equipment orders I hope.”

“What’re you on about?” The others at the table face palmed. Shinji smacked the hand away from his head chipping a 4 inch chunk off the back of the booth behind them. Masa shouted at them and Yoruichi took the time to signal for another round. 

“Besides,” Kisuke took a sip, “I only had less than half the viable population to vie to my affections while you had the whole lot.”

Shinji tilted his glass and head in acceptance and the table got back to grouching about normal things, too many horribly trained new recruits, the mountain of meaningless paperwork, the 11th raids into their divisions because of boredom. Ichigo realized that everyone else had known that Kisuke was gay. Did that mean it wasn’t a ploy just for this dating game? The thought had Ichigo blushing for a reason he didn’t understand. 

“You didn’t start drinking before we got here, did you?” Kiskue whispered into Ichigo’s ear. Ichigo shivered. He hadn’t noticed that Shinji and Kisuke switched places. 

“No!” Ichigo said a little too loudly. “I’m not even tipsy.”

Kiskue’s voice was a normal volume now that they had the attention of the rest of the table. “Well good. I’d hate to think you’d need to be drunk in order to keep my company while in public.”

Yoruichi was laughing into her cup again, the only truly drunk one at the table. Kiskue’s index finger and middle finger were walking a path up from Ichigo’s hand on the table up towards his elbow. 

Ichigo caught the wandering hand in his. He stared into Kisuke’s eyes. Kiskue slowly turned their hands so that Ichigo’s was on top. Slower still, he lowered his head down to brush his lips over Ichigo’s knuckles. Not quite a kiss, but warm breath ghosted over the hairs on the back of Ichigo’s hand. Ichigo could feel Kisuke open his mouth slowly, pressed his lips firmer against Ichigo’s knuckles, then gently nibbled at the sensitive skin between his ring and middle finger. 

Ichigo’s breath hiccupped. In the silence someone whistled quietly, that way that says “wow”. Shinji, he was the one who whistled. Ichigo looked away and Kiskue sat back up. The whole bar was watching them. Quiet. Wide eyed. Ukitake fanned at himself and shared a glance and a chuckle with Shunsui. 

Ichigo stood and jumped over the table. Without looking back he called over his shoulder, “if you want you danm public date you better get your ass in gear!”

Yoruichi laughed a deep belly laugh of the drunk lost in a hidden joke. Kisuke gave the table and bar a slight bow and trotted out the bar behind Ichigo. 

Masa smiled at Ichigo’s angry flush, clenched teeth, and tense shoulders. There was hope for that young man still.


End file.
